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What does letting go of control mean?

I intended to write food & freedom entries once a week, then biweekly, then I lost track. I began prioritizing new clients which came in abundance and I am grateful.

However, I knew the time would come where I could sit down and focus on food & freedom - my passion project I wish turns into my form of service. Fast forward to a whole month later. What better time but in silence, in the mountains, above Jati Luwih rice terraces, with views of Batu Karu Volcano and no wifi. I am alone in a comfy gladak or wooden house overlooking the nature with a clear view of the mountains; a coffee, yes a coffee not a tea, a yoga mat right In front of me still waiting to be used, a relieved feeling after completing tasks and a very sweet feeling of how blessed I am.

I promised to talk about letting go of control.

There are books here around me on herbal medicine. As I read them with great interest I notice how much proof is accumulated for these books to exist. People love proof. I skip the proof because I already believe the author and just scroll for words like anger, depression or stress as those are of interest. I don’t get infused in the information, as I remember it’s just a part of a whole. I notice remedies for asthma, and bronchitis and consider my friends, so I write those down too. Once I read the recommended dosage I wonder, how much time and energy it would take to consider all these specifics. Wouldn’t it be better to just let the NURTURING SYSTEM figure it all out? Now I remember the time I made way too much tarragon mayo that was so bitter, I ate it with everything so I don’t throw any away – realizing later… I must of really needed the bitters for a reason I didn't need to put focus on. How nice is it when we don’t have to plan and prepare our health; but simply let the higher power guide us.. THIS means letting go of control.

We often attach to one aspect , way or practice assuming it will give us the answers to life, it will help us attain balance and heal us. We get so attached that we research it and practice it to the point of insanity. In some cases we become afraid of "skipping a day" and absolutely terrified when we do opposite than the practice instructs. But why is our practice the best? If it was … would others be wrong? If It's herbal medicine that is the ultimate key to health, is yoga not ? what about nutrition ? what about fun and sunlight, what about having a purpose? Oh so it’s a mix of all…but can you do them ALL simultaneously and according to all the detailed instructions? Absolutely not. Striving to be Perfect in one field may create more imperfection in the other. Why do we allow ourselves to be so controlling in efforts to achieve perfection that is not even attainable?

Now to the other side of the spectrum. When we say “ let go”, “surrender”, “stop chasing perfection “, “let go of control” we don't mean what the phrase “YOLO” entails - make mistakes! keep screwing up! damage your system! Intoxicate! f*** it. After all, I highly doubt that we only live once. On the contrary in many ways we live forever..

Letting go of control does not mean letting go of awareness. - if you take anything back from this entry I hope its this sentence !


I stood up to get a snack and got quite dizzy. Because I just read the book on herbs my instant thought was “what is that herb that helps with dizziness and fatigue? “ But instead of going back to look it up again I continued to do what I’d intended and I had the following thought “ I am sure it will find me soon I could use it “ .

If I hadn’t read that book I wouldn’t of had that thought and I would of instead thought something like “ I’m so dizzy…this always happens”

Which of those options will improve my health? The first. The one that states there is a way to help with fatigue and believes the Nurturing System will take care of it, the statement that came to be from two things - recent memory + genuine trust and positivity - the statement that happened simply because the memory of the medicine is fresh > meaning, knowledge works it's magic without having to be memorized or even intentionally acted upon. Which makes me conclude that we must let go of control but we must not let go of knowledge, the more we learn the more we power the nurturing system, the more options we unlock. The more information is available for the nurturing system to use. The time is now to expand our minds , to learn as much as we can, but without the pressure of remembering everything. Instant thoughts that happen when we learn are already in action, allowing for new expansion. We cannot memorize and perform every sport, practice, yoga pose and ingest every healthy herb 2 times a day in a tincture and then powder form at night. We cant make our lives a strict scheduled routine. Everything is ever-changing so that would mean working against the natural flow of things !! What we CAN do is store more and more knowledge in to the system, gradually expand our brain capacity and surrender to the power of intuition and love.

P.S. How does this all relate to food? ... I suggest we stop obsessing about what food has how much vitamins C, potassium, B12, what is alkaline, what is adaptogenic what is antioxidant... I suggest again, as in the start of this passion project - that we instead put fourth energy to learning how to listen to our body and stir ourselves towards our highest potential ; there are steps to get there.. but ideally the path no matter how long it takes, is linear. Yet again, learning and being curious about when to consume B vitamin rich foods which would be mid day in wholesome meals, or when to have salads which would be early in the day or how to eat legumes which would be presoaked and often! is fantastic and allows our nurturing system to thrive ! Balance between knowledge and surrender creates balance within ourselves.


Since I took a while to publish this entry, I have a new one coming shortly – it talks about GROUNDING FOODS and as you may of guessed it is probably not about what it sounds like ;)



WARM TARO WITH GULA AREN (Palm Jeggery) - THE BEAUTY OF NATURE! - Enjoyed At my friends beautiful wooden house in the mountains - if you'd like to stay there contact me and I will connect you with hem.

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